You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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