i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
