I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize