shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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