Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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