I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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