Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well I just put wine in my tea
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
