If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
