you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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