I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
