I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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