Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You pole danced in your parka.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
