lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
