Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize