Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
