I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
