I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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