Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
