okay pat passed out under dana's car
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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