Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize