whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
