We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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