I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
