There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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