Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
