Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
