let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
