What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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