member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
