then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
