I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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