No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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