lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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