I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize