69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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