On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize