What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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