I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
