i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Will exercising make me less horny?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
