There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
