it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
