I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
