When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
