dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
