idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
