Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize