I showed him my bush... on skype.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
