yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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