im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
did you just send me my own nude
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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