her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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