I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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