It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
