My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
