"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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