i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
