I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
