He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
