he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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