Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
