I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
