I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
