After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
