you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you never un-have a 4some
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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