He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
