I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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