So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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