You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
