lets start a swedish sibling band together
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
