i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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