I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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